“Quiz”

Has anyone seen you in your underwear lately?
Sean obviously.
Is it awkward when you run into your exes?
I like to pretend that its not. Well…. not Jen. Id never feel awkward around that whore.
Have you kissed someone this past week?
Sean obviously.

When did you last talk to your brother or sister?
oh god I dont know. eech… siblings. eech…. families.
What did you do the last time you were home alone?
Im always home alone. I do lots of things. I power gym. I facebook. I perezhilton. I drink coffee. I porcrastonate about exercising. I miss Sean.

Are you talking to anyone right now?
no.

How much cash do you have on you?
about $6.50
Are you tanned?
no but Im working on it. Actually I just left the tanning bed.
Are you upset with anyone?
Im upset with myself for being such an alcoholic retard that I lost my job and now am suffering the consequences by living in poverty and yearning for my ex-lavish lifestyle. Also for being even more retarded by missing my first shift at my new job because I got the time mixed up.
Are you friends with your neighbours?
Not really. They play circus music at 9am every morning. Its weird.
Have you ever punched a guy?
Yes sir, right in the face.

Do you get jealous easily?
jealousy is a sign of weakness.
Have you ever gone to the beach?
Yes but Im not a big fan of cold water.

What are you listening to?
Amy Millan. 

How good is your eyesight?
not that good. What a stupi question. I dont like this quiz.
Have you ever been out of your country?
Yes and Im not the travellin’ type.

Would your parents be mad if you got suspended for fighting?
That depends. Momma was never easily swayed by my frequent suspensions.
What time did you wake up this morning?
8:30… the neighbours were playing that weird ice cream truck song on their music box or whatever instrument the have down there.
What are you doing Saturday?
Fuck, nothing probably. 

What is in your back pocket?
tanning goggles and a save on more card.

What were you doing at 3 am this morning?
sleeping and holding my crothc because I had to pee but refused to get out of bed’.

What do you usually do first in the morning?
swear.
Who is your favourite band?
right now…. anyone who sings about drinking whiskey and not wanting to leave the house.
Have you ever…..

Slept in a different bed?
Ive been on the floor looking for chair. Ive been on a chair looking for a couch. So has Torie.
Been in love?
If by love, you mean thrown upside down in a whirlwind of lust and blind faith…. then yes.

Gone over the speed limit?
speed limits are for school busses and fat women with kitten tshirts.
What colour is your room?
whiteish.
Ditched school to do something more fun?
every fucking chance I got.
What should you be doing now?
eating.
Do people like your handwriting?
I actually have excellent penmanship.
Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?
oh fuck no…. well…. I always wanted to get married.

Do you know anyone with the same first name as you?
yes one guy. Last time I saw him he had just been stabbed in the ballsack. Im serious.
Who are you more like, your mother or father?
*cringe* Im pleading the 5th.

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